A New Level of Awesome: Smoke and Mirrors

Smoke and Mirrors has its roots in the Spiegletent, during the Sydney Festival. Having been one of its most popular shows, the producers rightly decided to push it on a national tour, with the Sydney run closing on the 14th of May. Headlined by the fabulous iOTA, the show features a variety of talents, from the usual gymnasts to... Well, let's not spoil that part.

To say that it is a musical extravaganza will not give it its due credit. It's quite more than that, and because I don't want to do spoilers, I would like to leave it at that. I went in not knowing what to expect, and they blew my socks off. I think people should leave that show with that kind of feeling too. I will tell you that they have loud music, strong strobe lights, smoke machines and attitude in spades.

This is an absolute gem of a show and no review can ever do it justice. Act I is the stronger of the two in terms of performance, but Act II has better songs with a very unconventional ending. If iOTA ever needed to prove his talent, this closing number is it, his winning ticket, the one everyone can take home so they can say "Wow". The production design is astonishing, from stage to costumes to makeup. It reminds me somewhat of Carnivale meets Madonna's The Girlie Show. This show is so polished you'd think it was made of glass - but really, it's just smoke and mirrors.

If you are in Sydney and can spare the time, go to the Seymour Centre before it's too late, and if you have any ounce of culture in you, this is the show you **deserve** to see.

Smoke and Mirrors: 4.5 slices

A Film of Nordic Proportions: Thor (3D)

I should have written this a week ago after I had watched it, but the 5-day weekend caught up with me and I just needed that little breather from everything, really.

Thor is based on Marvel's comic hero of the same title. Being a Marvel reader as a child, I was quite excited to see where they would go with this film. I felt that, as long as they didn't go down the Fantastic Four route, they should be alright.

I am happy to note that it was not just alright - it took the whole comic-movie genre up a notch. Kenneth Branagh made sure that the movie followed the comic's main concepts but discarded everything that didn't work on film. Hence it had a very contemporary feel and visual images in comics, like Asgard or Loki's ridiculous costume, looked quite believable on screen.

The acting was alright and my instinct tells me that the director managed to squeeze all acting potential from the lead actor whose arms are large enough to have their own post code. Under any other director, I reckon he would have gone down the Keanu Hall of Fame. Natalie Portman, who seems hellbent on getting every single acting assignment that didn't have a strand of acting challenge, after her gobsmackingly fantastic performance in the brilliant mind bomb that was Black Swan, was just ok. She didn't have much to work with and the development of her love affair with the hero seems raw at best.

But luvey-dovey stuff is not what Thor is all about. It's about raw muscle, swirling Mjolnirrs, fast action and eye candy in all shapes, sizes and orientations - and Thor brings those in spades. Add a well-handled classic story of redemption among Nordic gods, and you have a good two-hour escapist flick that deserves your time and money. We watched the 3-D version, but heaven knows the 2-D version should still be more than worthwhile.

Thor: 4 slices.

A Different 3D: Pina, a 3D Dance doco

Thanks to Sydney Film Festival's overly enthusiastic emailing system, I frequently get bombarded by opportunities for freebies and my running rule is, surely out of ten competitions, I would most likely get to win at least once. And that, ladies and gents, is how I got freebies to the world's first 3D dance film, Pina.

This documentary is really all about Pina Bausch, an icon in modern dance who passed away a year or so ago. The documentary presents an intimate look into how she inspired the multitude of dancers whom she worked with and what inspired Pina's work through the years, including the iconic "Cafe Mueller", which was featured heavily in Almodovar's wondermous "Talk to Her".

What I find really interesting about the film is that it shows snipets of Pina's works, theatrical dance masterpieces which marry strength and fragility in backdrops reflecting elemental features. Add the 3D aspects of the film, and it should have been enough in the film to sustain interest in Pina.

Yet somehow, the movie loses steam midway through, and by the time you get to hear the 7th dancer's take on Pina and her style of choreographing, you lose interest in the never-ending gushes for Pina's understated genius as a choreographer and a mentor. I think the movie needed a stronger angle in presenting such an interesting dancer and choreographer, and the way it was handled was just too simplistic and amateurish.

Admittedly, if I were a professional dancer, I may have found this movie gripping. But sadly, speaking as a regular Joe, it just didn't keep me engaged.

Pina: 2.5 slices.

A One-Two Movie: Sucker Punch

It is very difficult for me to talk about this movie with a spoiler or two, so if you have issues with that, you might want to stop reading now.

Sucker Punch, written and directed by Zack Snyder, had a lot of hype going into it - or maybe I just feel that way because I saw so many ads for it at the university I worked for. Let's face it - if there was a movie geared towards the 18-25 male demographic, this movie was it. The fact that it has such a BioShock look only adds to the movie's drive to woo the gaming gents - add five scantily clad female leads, and well, there you have it. Sex in the City meets Lara Croft meets Playboy.

Don't get me wrong - I love the look, the action scenes are awesome a good 90% of the time, and the concept as a whole is really fantastic. I was seriously ready to lap this movie like it was made from nougat. I actually imagined Zack Snyder talking to studio execs with the concept storyboards, and the studio boys just going ooh-aaah, 50-year old men letting their prepubescent fantasies run amok.

The problem is there is a big distinction between pretty storyboards and their proper execution. The movie starts out really well, but somehow weakens as the movie goes along. Maybe, as my friends Freuben state, it is the whole tedious list concept which makes the plot fairly predictable, or the incoherent use of fantasy vs reality.

One great thing about the movie though is the soundtrack. The songs they've chosen are stellar and in some parts of the film, they overshadow the film itself. I have not been this excited to buy a soundtrack album since Baz's Romeo + Juliet, and everyone I've talked to agrees.

However, that isn't enough reason to watch the film. If you're that keen on watching it, I suggest leaving your brain at the cinema doors and hope that there is enough eye candy to keep your id preoccupied for 2 hours.

Sucker Punch: 2.5 slices.

An Amazing Atrocity: KFC's The Double Down

For those who have not been bombarded by either the ads or the hoopla surrounding the darn product, KFC released (for! a! limited! time! only!) The Double Down which is basically an all-meat, no-bread sandwich. How does that work? Two slices of bacon, two slices of cheese in between a sauced-up pair of salty deep fried chicken fillets. That's it - a very simple concoction designed for the needs of the primal man (or at least that is how their marketing makes it out to be).

What do I think? 5 slices for taste, 5 slices for grease factor, 0 slices for the after shocks. Midway through the "manwhich", I just had to stop to ask myself if it was worth it. Of course, my sensible side was beaten to submission by my greedy side (who simply wanted to gorge on forward) and my cheapskate side (who repeats the same phrase over and over in my head with a mum-like voice "But hijo, don't waste your food").

However, for the next two hours, my stomach experienced pains that could only be appropriately described as earthenware shattering. So yeah, it was **that** bad. Plus my heart began racing as though it was being chased Jack Nicholson-style by my Lipitor medication.

So what do I think? Overall, 1.5 stars. Great to try but given the hell to pay, I'll pass. Maybe next life.

A Darn Fine Performance: Belle and Sebastian Live

For those who are not in the know, Belle and Sebastian are a Glasgow-based band known for their genre-defiant music that lingers somewhere between alternative and pop-folk. They have a very strong retro sound - and it's very easy to bop a head to their music. I personally find that the singer uses controlled vocals that make for a smoother sound to the music, and whether that appeals to you or not, well, that's more of a personal thing, I guess. I myself am not necessarily the biggest fan - I won't complain if they're in the background but I won't actively hunt down their latest album.

Live, however, is a different story. I was fortunate enough to see them when they played at the Sydney Opera House. We could have gone to see them when they played at The Metro, a much more intimate venue but given its reputation for sticky, beer-stained carpets and expensive low end drinks, thanks but no thanks.

The band certainly had a stronger sound live. The vocals were fuller and lacked that softer edge that their songs are known for. I personally liked it more and for me, for a band to sound better live is a good thing. The singer had massive energy on stage and for the first time, I saw people standing up and dancing - a rare feat in a venue like the Opera House.

Belle and Sebastian live: 4.5 slices.

A Most Random Comparison: Moth Traps

Now that I do a longer commute to work, I really should take time out to write on the blog more often - even if it is with random stuff... And it doesn't get more random than moth traps.

See, I hate moths. As a baker, I have thrown out bags and bags of flour in the past, simply because moths got into them - such a waste, really. As autumn approaches, they have again come out in droves, leaving their evil larvae in the nooks and crannies of our kitchen cupboards.

I initially wanted to get moth balls, but realized that, at best, they drive out the moths which would only find refuge in our parts of the house. No, I wanted to take the offensive. I wanted to go Rambo on their fuzzy bums and take them out like the pests that they are.

When I got to the supermarket, I only had two options - either Hovex or Envirosafe. Both were pheromone-based traps which lured moths onto very sticky paper. They are both very basic tent-shaped traps but really, didn't need anything more elaborate. They both were the same price, and came in pairs but I had no idea which was better... So I bought both.

The Envirosafe was the bigger one in terms of size, and uses a foil-wrapped pheromone pack which you stick to the roof of the tent. It claims to last for three months, and I guess we can put that to the test. The adhesive it uses is very sticky and reminds me of industrial-strength fly traps. When the moths came into the tent, they really didn't get out. Sadly the problem is that the moths weren't too excited to bite the bait. Sure, the trap still attracted them, but the attendance was less than impressive and reminded me of those soirees hosted by social outcasts - everyone was welcome but only a handful ever came.

Now Hovex was the smaller of the two traps, and used an exposed block of pheromone which you stuck onto the wall of the trap. The sticky paper wasn't so sticky so there were some moths that flew in and out, sadly. However, the exposed pheromone made it really popular in the moth community and I had to get a second Hovex after a few days because they just packed it in there so tightly, you'd think it was Big Day Out.

so the verdict: Hovex. The stronger pheromone makes it a more useful trap and I would suggest you get two packs, because the party just doesn't stop with Hovex.

Hovex: 4 1/2 slices.
Envirosafe: 3 1/2 slices.

A New Level of Low: The Green Hornet

As some of you may know, I am currently looking for a job and I should be using my spare time to write letters and send resumes.

But no, I **HAVE** to rant about Seth Rogen’s new ego trip, The Green Hornet.

This movie is directed by Michel Gondry, who has been touched by Bjork, which automatically qualifies him as awesome. I loved his quirky “Science of Sleep” so I kinda figured this should be ok somehow... except it didn’t register that this movie was written by Seth Rogen. And as Mikey F puts it, not even Michel Gondry can make chicken soup out of chicken $hit.

The movie is horrible. There is nothing likeable about the main character, Seth Rogen, who, time and time again, will remind the audience that this movie is about making him look like he has the maturity of 3-day old garbage. In fact, I can say with all honesty that this movie is all about Seth Rogen acting like an 11-year old Ricky Gervais treating his piss like it was made of rose water. While writing this, he knew that studios will greenlight this unredeemable film and people will come to it in droves because of (a) the nostalgia factor (and I am guilty of this) and (b) 3D Gondry.

But no. The writing was shallow and insulting. The movie was fast paced diarrhoea. The acting was mediocre at best (I mean, let’s face it: Cameron Diaz). If you combine all the good bits about the film, I would say you have around 48 seconds worth of good footage. Everything else was just tedious, tiring and nauseating (and not because of the 3D effects).

Save money. Do NOT Do NOT Do NOT pay to watch this film. In fact, do not watch this film at all. Seth Rogen sums it at the END of the movie: “Kato, everything we’ve done so far is $hit.”

Oh how right you are, Seth. The Green Hornet: Zero slices.

A Mindquake of Cinematic Proportions: Black Swan

Darren Aronofsky has always been the strange one in my books. I think (and not many will side with me here) that he's too pop for the art house scene and the mainstreamers think he's too... weird. A lot of people didn't like The Fountain, but I found it fascinating.

Now he's back with Black Swan, starring Natalie Portman. I was initially not too keen on watching this because, well, i could never like Natalie Portman again after Star Wars and, another point, I though this was predominantly a ballet movie. I had images of The Best of "So You Can Dance" meets Batman Returns to the tune of Mandy Moore's "I Wanna Be With You"

I know. Not a pretty sight.

Well, this movie proves several things wrong: Natalie Portman **can** bloody act and dance, and the movie itself only uses ballet as a springboard for... Well, I can't write more if I don't want to release spoilers. All I can say is that this psycho thriller/horror movie is on a league of its own and provides a fantastic insight into the fragile mind of Nina, the White Swan.

I just have to warn you though: I left the movie mighty unsettled and the dark mood carried with me through the day. Purchasing the ticket means you have to be ready to be rattled until your nose bleeds Lucky Charms.

Oh, one nonspoiler: Natalie Portman does NOT turn into a red-eyed, murderous black swan, and becomes the fowl heroine instilling fear into the hearts of criminals, butchers and game hunters across the metropolis.

Black Swan: 5 slices.

A...mazing: The National at the Enmore Theatre, Newtown

Watched the National at the Enmore Theatre tonight, and they were fantastic. We were initially worried that they (apparently) took an hour for the instrumentation to match the energy of the songs, but in all honesty, I didn’t feel that at all. The performers were energetic, the crowd was fantastic and participative, and most of the songs were at their peak. Really, that is a good batting average.

The only thing that ruined the night was my vertigo (which came and went)... oh, and also those two pommie chicks who wanted to get into the higher price bracket area by flirting with the security guy and letting everyone within the 10-mile radius about how desperate they are to get into that area. Dear Pommie Inbred Trollups: If you really want to get up close and personal with the band, either pay the ticket price or offer to sleep with several of the band members. Surely, one of them will be desperate enough. And really? Giving your number to the security guy?? Not only are you cheap, but you **really** need to work on your flirting skills. I’ve seen belly button lint that was more enticing than you. The least you can do is make your failed attempts at seducing less audible, because really... you embarrass yourself.

Oh, yeah. About the National. Five slices. Really.

A Picture Perfect Bathtub: Soap at the Sydney Opera House

Soap is basically an off-shoot of the (in)famous bathtub aerial strip dance at the Spiegeltent. That performance consisted of a half-naked man, dressed only in jeans while either sensually dancing in mid-air or writhing around in a bath tub full of water. That was indeed a performance like no other - and yet someone felt it was a good enough concept to create a show. Soap is comprised of four men, three women, six bathtubs, and an opera singer - and they basically do circus tricks using the bathtub as the main prop.

Now, just for the record, this show is definitely professional - unlike their brief-y counterparts, there is NOTHING amateurish about this production. They had everything down to an art form - and they are definitely artists - to the point that every foul-up has an automatic backup so that the audience wouldn’t know a thing. It is basically a wetter version of Cirque Du Soleil.

Now having said that, I have to admit that I did not enjoy myself as much as I did in Briefs. Yes, the performers are talented. Yes, the opera singer was good. Yes, the production was as clean as spit on a spoon. However, it lacked spice. It lacked seduction. It lacked the raw gut that Briefs had in spades. The opening act was so well done, and sadly, it just dropped a bit in flavour and then stagnated.

It is still enjoyable, mind you, and if you like Cirque du Soleil, you will most certainly enjoy Soap. But I like my shows to be flirtatious and risque, so if a show called “Soap” does not make you feel dirty, then really, what is the point. Three slices.

A Brief-y Encounter: Briefs at the Sydney Opera House

Briefs, a self-proclaimed “boylesque” show based in Brisbane, showcases the circus talents of agile young men wearing... well, briefs. In some cases, even less. They do the usual circus fare, but with a lot of body glitter, amazing energy and enough clothing to fit a two-month old child.



It is commandeered by Faz, a Pacific Islander drag queen dressed in the best of St Vincent de Paul’s, and she is accompanied by 6 other men who are excellent twirlers, dancers, acrobats and comedians. Given the format of the show, it is very difficult to describe it without setting off the spoiler alerts, so allow me to paste this pic instead:



Please note that this acrobat was actually on top of the audience. No safety net. And he had most of his clothes on. In **this** photo, at least. He does make some changes to his outfit in midair. Now, this part of the show is perhaps the reason why a good 70% of the audience were women. And yes, there was a very clear “Sex & The City” vibe to them - this event was, after all, held in the Sydney Opera House, so they were dressed to the nines, some with matching fascinators. The stage performers loved them, and definitely made sure the giggling ladies had their eyefull, with one of the scantily clad performers ending the show by diving into some young woman’s lap (and they also ended up frolicking on the floor - how very Brisbane).

And that is telling of the show and its roots. They tend to do things that defy Sydney convention: kicking empty plastic buckets to the audience, breaking ceramic plates on the stage floor (and into some audience members as well), swearing endlessly (and perhaps even needlessly). One can argue that that is part and parcel of the show, but in the context of the Sydney Opera House, it just seemed out of place.

To make it worse, the hostess was quite amateurish in her humour as well. Her dialogue was haphazard and does not do well to introduce the next acts. A comedian doesn’t just jump on stage and expect humour to flow casually (unless you are Robin Williams). Comedy takes practice and timing - and she just didn’t do or have either.

I guess it is good that she was backed by amazing performers who knew what exactly they were doing. All the circus performers were at their peak, and even the weakest performer (Mr Plate) was amusing at least. In fact, I have to say that 85% of the show was fantastic, and the small bits that were just a bit off... well, they can be changed. And given that we watched the first show of their very (ahem) brief stay in the Opera House, I assume that it will only get better from here.

The show will run until the 15th, and for more info, click here.

Do I recommend it? Yes, 4 slices.

Just a few notes: You **HAVE** to buy the meat tray raffle ticket. And you can buy alcohol inside the Studio itself so no need to queue outside for a bottle of white. And don’t use flash photography. And you should take an orange when it comes your way. And you **HAVE** to buy the meat tray raffle ticket. No, really, you **HAVE** to. In fact, buy 10. Good luck!